For The Love Of Money ...

 

For The Love Of Money…

By

Vivek Hande

“Money is not everything. Make sure you earn a lot before talking any such nonsense”, famously attributed to Warren Buffet. I think he was spot on. But money needs to be carried, or does it? And if so it perhaps needs a wallet...

I do think I am old school. I feel incomplete and inadequate when I step out of home without my handkerchief, wallet and for the last decade or so my cell phone. My sons tell me I could very well do without the former two and all I need is the last item to exist comfortably.

I have grown up seeing many carry a wallet which was almost like a briefcase. It had photographs (black & white to colour) of the family including the grandchildren in different stages of growing up; it had a small address book with contact details of all deemed important and necessary to be contacted at short notice; it also carried the driving license and a folded photocopy of bank account details. It carried ones' visiting cards and those received from others. For good measure, there were a few photos of gods and deities for divine intervention at all times.  Oh yes, it did carry some cash too, less of billfolds/notes and more of coins threatening to burst out of the coin pouch… When I started carrying a wallet, some credit cards also did find their way into the slots.

Wallets have been around since ancient times. They have been documented in Mesopotamia, Ancient Greece and Egypt as a secure way to carry coins and jewellery. The Greeks used the Kibisis which had its origins as a magical sack given to Perseus to keep the head of Gorgon , Medusa after he killed her. The Kibisis typically used by the Greeks was made of leather and had a drawstring closure. The Romans used a small pouch called Bursa or Marsupun which had a small flap to close it. With commerce along the Silk Route, wallets became more intricate and decorative and were embellished with embroidery and gemstones. They came to be recognized as a statement of wealth or status.

Kibisis: Greek Origin Wallet

 

With the advent of paper currency, the conventional wallets as most of us know them came into existence. Bi-fold/ Tri-fold / wristlet wallets and zip around wallets became popular. As credit cards came into existence, RFID Blocking Wallets became popular. Ironically, the luxury branded wallets meant to keep money became wallet emptying commodities!!Hermes made a lot of money helping people spend money to store money. A wallet belonging to the second Earl of Yarmouth was auctioned for 58000 $ in 2000 and was probably the most expensive wallet sold (made of dyed silk and gold thread)..

A thick wallet with money and coins and everything else lent itself to a medical condition called Wallet Neuropathy or more popularly known as Fat Wallet Syndrome giving rise to sciatica and backache because of uneven pressure on pelvic muscles. It was best treated by reducing the size of the wallet by spending money on consultation fees.

Wallet Neuropathy Causing Sciatica

Wallets and paper currency may be less fashionable or not so popular today as we look at digital currency and modes of payments such as UPI; Global mobile and digital wallets and platforms such as GPay and ApplePay. Every conceivable transaction is possible through the smartphone which is expected to have a global penetration up to 75% by 2025. But the security layers notwithstanding, one does get spooked reading and getting to know of  the frauds and the scams and the rip offs each day.

For me, I am probably somewhere in between. Holding a crisp note, to me feels like holding a piece of the future, untouched and full of potential. Money is just paper, but it affects people like poetry and somehow it is more poetic when you feel the crisp notes in your wallet!! The wallet, at least, speaking for myself, will survive!!

 

Bring On The Poetry...

Never Trust A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Never Trust A Doctor Whose Office Plants have Died..

By

Vivek Hande

 It has been three and a half decades treating patients and more than two decades as a Gastroenterologist. I have had the privilege of taking care of and looking after patients across the country. I was able to do good to a few; maybe cure some; maybe put some on the path to recovery and along the way, lost some patients too who succumbed to their illness. I can cross my heart and say that I gave my best to every patient and did all that I could for him or her. I can say with confidence that each patient taught me something and gave back in return, in abundance.

 Some patients were rude and arrogant and insolent and utterly ungrateful. They seemed to take everything for granted. I would have to confess they were a very small minority; but they did teach me how not to behave and how not to conduct oneself. There is no doubt that this population does exist and one has to learn to take it in one’s stride. It is an important lesson to bear in mind .. 

 But I have received immeasurably from my patients, many who are a part of my extended family today. I received lessons in indomitable spirit and resilience from MSK who succumbed to advanced hepatocellular carcinoma after a protracted illness. Till the very last day, he was dressed in his tweed coat and retained his razor-sharp wit and never did I see him express rancour or bitterness. He was often in severe pain, but he dealt with his disease with grace and equanimity. He would try make small banter and attempt humour till the very end.

 Then there was SS who was paralyzed waist downwards following an accident. He arranged his daughter’s wedding on Zoom Calls from the ward; made all arrangements on phone and went and attended the wedding dressed in a Sherwani, riding in on a wheelchair. Not once did he lose faith or confidence or his composure. He kept telling me if this is what was destined, who was he to fight destiny- he did what he had to with dignity. These were real life heroes, if there ever were. There have been more such unforgettable characters and they left a deep impression on me and gave me such an incredible life lesson. 

Nothing Can be more dangerous!!!

!!

 

One thing that one learns over the years is that the ‘patient is always right.’ One has learnt several times that ignoring this dictum is at your own peril. There is no place for arrogance or the belief that you know everything and you are infallible. The patient more often than not does not follow the textbook and the earlier one realizes this, the better it is! 

 Music would always play in my OPD or Endoscopy suites. Patients often exchanged ‘musical notes’ with me, once they were a tad better. They would suggest certain other artistes or a particular genre and I daresay, they have contributed immensely to my enjoyment of a diverse range of music. Some even confessed that they came and sat in the OPD waiting area only to listen to music and not because they had an ailment! Be that as it may, my appreciation of different artists and genres increased thanks to their suggestions.

 Some of my them, who have been my patients for chronic ailments for more than two decades or so have kind of adopted me and made me an honorary member of their family. There are lots of kids and some grandkids who go by the name “Vivek”, apparently a tribute to me and that is rather overwhelming, to say the least. Many ask for career advice for their children and many even want my ‘approval’ when they are fixing the marriage of their son / daughter – I try telling them, I am hardly an authority on careers or relationships, but that is the way it is. It is a measure of the importance doctors have in the lives of patients- it is special and yet challenging in its own way. It is also immensely humbling. Then there are advice/ suggestions/ recommendations on various issues given to you by patients once they have been around you for long and one is part of their extended family. 

There was a lady, she succumbed to Covid 19 two years ago. She was based in Tirupati. She was my patient for Inflammatory Bowel Disease and would come for a follow up wherever I was posted. Every six months she would come with two packets – Tirupati Ladoos from the temple and a packet of hair dye. She would insist I was too young to have so much silver on my head. I would accept the Ladoos with gratitude and tell her to let the silver be... she never did give up! Then there were some patients, old enough to be my mother, who would ask me lose weight or gain weight; have less coffee, play more soothing music, take a break and go for a holiday or smile more often and so on …

 The Doctor -Patient relationship is truly unique and quite unlike any other. It is precious; it is sacred and very special. The Doctor -Patient relationship is based on trust, knowledge, respect and communication. Doctors are healers; they shouldn’t act like judges or cops. A healer is someone whose hand the patient wants to hold. Somebody once told me long back; an average doctor saves a body; a good doctor saves a being. The art of healthcare is the most sublime act to practice compassion with the prescription of empathy and tenderness. There is no one fit for all. The prescription has to be individualized to the patient.

 Truly, as somebody has so succinctly remarked, “As a doctor, you don’t practice medicine, rather you become the medicine yourself.’ Cicero(106BC-43BC), “In nothing do men nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men.” I always do like to remind myself and my junior colleagues, something which is attributed to Seneca, “People pay for the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in debt’.. it is truly a privilege to be given the opportunity to care and cure; heal and give hope…

It is a privilege to care & cure

To Pet Or Not Pet

 To Pet or Not to Pet

By

Vivek Hande

Dogs leave paw prints on our heart. Whoever said that Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, probably never had a dog. George Eliot remarks, “Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions; they pass no criticism.’ These are sentiments all pet and dog lovers will vociferously endorse. Bill Watterson eulogizes this relationship by asserting, ‘I wish people were more like animals. Animals don’t try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company.’

I have no doubt all this and much more is true. I have seen many of my friends and family whose life revolves around their ‘pets’. They are not pets – they are much more than family to them. I have seen the joy and the heartbreaks vicariously through them as they have lived with their pawed, furred, feathered and gilled friends.

However, to be honest, the world is divided into Pet- People and Non- Pet -People. I am not a great fan of pets and don’t feel too comfortable around them. I don’t know if getting bitten by stray dogs thrice, while growing up and getting jabbed in the abdomen repeatedly has anything to do with it or my favorite and solitary Armani jacket(slung casually on a sofa in a friend’s house) being the recipient of a stream of prized Persian Cat piss(the host actually thought I was lucky!) or being emotionally scarred in hostel at Medical College  because of some reptilian pets of Seniors has something to do with it. I can’t say I am Zoophobic(fear of Animals) or Cynophobic( fear of Dogs) or Ailurophobic(fear of Cats) or Doraphobic(fear of skin or hide of animals) but definitely a strong degree of discomfort or unease exists when I am around them. I am possibly definitely Ophidiophobic(fear of snakes). How anyone can have a pet snake sure bites/beats me.

While Dogs and Cats are the commonest pets, there is no end to imagination when it comes to having a pet in your corner. Many years ago while in hostel at the Medical College, I had a taciturn senior who had tasked us Freshers to get a Frog each day for his pet. I was pleased with my efforts, having sneaked a Frog out of the pond behind the Physiology Department (Frog Experiments) and gingerly went to deposit the offering. The intrepid senior told me to open the Shoe Box under his bed and dump the frog in it. I was “pet”rified and don’t think I have recovered from the reptilian hiss which greeted the amphibious meal. That was a mile long snake coiled into the Bata Shoe Box. I have never trusted the shoe company ever since and I am kind of wary of peeping under beds since that day. Then there was yet another senior colleague who, as the legend goes, was denied leave by his boss on some ground. The denial of leave was not taken kindly and he released his pet snake Ophelia into the Boss’s garden where the ladies of the station were having a pleasant Garden Party. The party was a disaster; the leave was granted; the form for Leave application was amended to include a column about nature of pets held by the applicant!

We recently read about an Indian Orthopedic Surgeon in Ukraine who refused to leave the war zone and return to India because he feared for the welfare of his twenty month old pet Jaguar and six month old Panther. The comfort with which he plays around with these big cats is unnerving. 

The other day I went to visit someone. They had six feet tall Labrador (it looked taller actually); very loving and friendly and all of that. The host told me he does not bite and he is very gentle. The gentle giant had me pinned to the edge of the sofa and systematically decimated my corduroys and sneakers. When you are a Non- Pet -Person, gentle giants can cause arrhythmias. That is another house off the visiting list …

I have a dear friend who had a Central African Grey Parrot who went by the moniker Pogo. It was an excellent mimic and would imitate the door bell and the telephone ringtone to perfection. My friend lost a fair degree of weight, constantly attending to the door and rushing to pick up nonexistent telephone calls. Pogo also did a very good rendition of ‘Ala Ala Matwala’ from the movie Barfi.

Pogo

Ring Tone & Singer

There was yet another colleague whose daughter decided to acquire a pair of turtles. Small little friendly creatures but they turned out be very conscious of what they would eat. If not given Kraft Cheese and a Kale based salad to be washed down with Pomegranate Juice, they would completely stop eating. And then there was this gent who presented his son a pair of white mice as pets. They were washed and combed every day and slept in a small little cage next to his pillow. The pets were very popular with the family till one of them nibbled away half an earlobe of Junior playfully. The father got an ‘earful’ and the mice were banished.

From time immemorial, pets have been kept, adored, appreciated, indulged and the pet owners have, I am sure, gained positively from the interaction. But to be fair, it is a two-way street and one ought to have a pet only if one can give as much as one gets. It is often said, if trained properly, a man can be a dog’s best friend. And it may be good to remember, a cat looks down upon a man; a dog looks up to a man and a pig will look a man right in the eye and see his equal!

There are folks who believe a part of your soul has not been awakened if you have never had a pet. While that may or may not be true, the world is still divided into Pet and Non-Pet Person

Cross Your Fingers & Toes..

Cross Your Fingers & Toes!!! 

 By

 Vivek Hande

I  regard myself as a person of Science and I do believe I am above superstitions and quite rational in my thinking. I do think I am fairly logical and don’t really believe in irrational thoughts and beliefs. However, as I kind of introspect, I am amazed by the number of superstitions that have embedded themselves as a way of my life. They have been a part of my growing up years and they are so deep rooted now that, even though I don’t see the logic behind many, they are here to stay! Much to my chagrin, I tend to agree with John Toland, who wrote,” All men are superstitious; they only differ in degrees” 

I don’t cut nails after sunset. I don’t cut nails on Saturdays. I understand it angers ‘Shani’. I definitely don’t get a haircut on Tuesdays. Somebody told me down the line Saturday haircuts are also not a good idea because of the same ‘Shani’ issue. I am reasonably certain I would look fairly well groomed if I did have a haircut on any of these days, but I just cannot get myself to a saloon on those days. Many years ago my mother drove it in that homes are not to be swept and cleaned after sunset – you don’t want to scare ‘Lakshmi’ away. While one has stuck to the no cleaning after sunset policy, it doesn’t seem to have encouraged ‘Lakshmi’ to be a regular visitor. I tend to stop the car when I see a black cat cutting across the road. I allow some other car driver to go past and be cursed by the evil spirits and then gingerly drive. If there is no vehicle driving past, I reverse and pretend to go in a different direction and then drive ahead- I think it is adequate to confuse the evil spirits. Bird poop and especially crow droppings, I have been told are auspicious. Very often, I have tried to catch the eye of low flying birds and encouraged them to give it a go, especially when I am in dire need of some luck to bolster things. 

It is very difficult to set off on a journey even if it is an unearthly hour in the morning without a dollop of Curd (Probiotic) and Sugar (Glucose)-what has to be done has to be done… Whenever I have had an itching right palm, I am optimistic of getting some money coming my way. More often than not, the only thing that has come my way is a prescription from the Dermatologist. One remains an optimist. One has, at times, gone mad trying to look for wood to knock (especially after an aunt told me knocking on the head is not a good substitute). There is no way you can say something good or wish someone well without knocking vigorously on wood. In fact, it is a good idea to keep a block of wood in your pocket at all times- you never know. I was introduced many years ago by my wife to, “one for sorrow, two for joy” in the context of Mynah birds (Magpies in the Western context and the original poem also talks of Gold and Silver). I don’t really believe in all this joy and sorrow business being linked with these silly birds. However, if I see a solitary bird, I tend to become an avid birder looking for another one to ensure joy. Seeing just a solitary Mynah is kind of disconcerting, to be honest.

 I tend to avoid walking under a ladder, but that I think is more out of prudence rather than the fact that the triangle formed is considered to represent the Holy Trinity (Father; Son & Spirit) and is believed to be sacred. I think I automatically cross my fingers when I want to improve my chances for something or someone; though for the life of me, I have no clue how it helps the cause. The car washing man regularly fixes an arrangement of lemon and chilies on the car on certain ‘auspicious’ days. I definitely think the lemon would be more useful as wedges in a glass of Gin and Tonic and the Chilies could be better utilized in the Paneer Curry. But I do realize the man is doing his bit to keep my car safe from the evil gaze of others and is kind of a backup insurance. So, I kind of let things carry on. 

 I am good with all numbers and not much into numerology but yet somehow the number 13 is not very comfortable. Even though I have great memories of wonderful and joyous occasions on the 13th of a month..but still I subconsciously think twice before embarking on something new on the 13th. If you are not scared of Friday the 13th, you definitely ought to be scared of the folks who are- they are simply called ‘Friggatriskaidekaphobics’.

 I am a physician and I let science and evidence dictate my course of actions. I do understand that fear and ignorance are the root of meaningless superstitions. 'To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom', remarked Bertrand Russel .  Dramatic , but not far from the truth, "Superstition, the mother of those hideous twins, fear and faith, from her throne of skulls, still rules the world" quoting Robert Ingersol.

There is little place for fear and ignorance in my practice. The practice of medicine is based on logic and hard facts and established guidelines. I know all of that and I fervently believe in the science behind it. And yet if someone sneezes just before I am doing a complicated endoscopic procedure, I am a little more careful; a little more cautious; a little more circumspect

 

Don’t Bite The Hand That Feeds You..

By

Vivek Hande

 

The predecessor of the modern spoon probably dates back to 1000 BC in Egypt, where it was used for religious purposes and rituals. By evolution, man is supposed to be a hand and finger eater. Cutlery was not part of the original plan and is a much later addition dictated by convenience and the need to scoop soups and curries.

The West is slowly awakening to the advantages of eating with ones’ hands. We have always known of the myriad benefits of eating with ones’ hands and yet we often try to ape the more ‘civilized’ way of eating, using cutlery for foods which definitely need to be enjoyed with the fingers. I have seen folks attempting to eat a “Dosa” with a fork and knife. I have seen people eating a “Samosa” with a fork and digging into an “Aloo Parantha” with cutlery. Apart from hurting the feelings/fillings of the Samosa or the Dosa, it appears to me to be such a waste of a glorious and joyous experience!

That looks like a better plan..

Try eating with a Fork..

Indian culture has always recognized the advantages of eating with the hands. Eating with the hands establishes a physical and spiritual and, in some ways, a sensual connection with the food. The hand represents the five elements in Ayurveda: the thumb(space); the forefinger(air); the mid finger(fire); the ring finger(water) and the little finger(earth).

 

Eating with the hands stimulates the senses, improves digestion, enables you to enjoy the meal more, helps you eat in moderation; ensures the food at the right temperature touches your tongue. Using your hands to eat improves your consciousness of the food and it is believed to feed the mind and the spirit. This mindful eating is a powerful sensory experience and evokes emotions and passion. All this, apart from the obvious advantage of being more hygienic – washing hands before and after the meal is very much a part of the drill and far cleaner than the best washed spoon or fork…

There is also a lot to be said about the joy and pleasure of sitting down to a traditional meal, more typically a South Indian meal and eat off a banana leaf. Of course, there is an etiquette to it all. The leaf is washed of course and the larger part of the leaf to be placed to the right. The person eating is required to sprinkle some water around the leaf and also on it, as part of the ritual. The sprinkling of water is to clean it further and also to ensure ants didn’t make inroads into the serving. Always eat with the right hand. There is a method in the serving of the meal and each item has its rightful place on the leaf. The leaf is said to be rich in polyphenols and gives off antioxidants making the eating a healthier exercise. The repeated bending down to eat off the leaf improves spinal circulation. And of course, the entire exercise is far more hygienic and ecofriendly.

The Fine Art of Dining..

The “Langar” experience is another exercise in divinity and spirituality. Hot, simple, wholesome food cooked with devotion by volunteers; served with compassion and enjoyed with ones’ hands in the company of others accepting the bountiful blessings- it is food for the soul and the spirit. African and Middle Eastern Communities often break bread together and eat out of a communal plate- eating with the hand, sitting together binds them together and also keeps a check on the size of the portions and the speed with which one eats – all in consonance with the Islamic teaching to eat moderately and slowly.  

Hands Receiving Blessings

Eating Out a Communal Platter

Interestingly, as more Westerners discover the joys of eating with the hand, it has actually triggered therapists to analyze their personality types. As per therapist Rebecca Capps, persons who embrace eating with their hands are likely to be rule breakers, more adventurous, relish life and are more likely than not to place the needs of others above their own!

A hand to mouth existence might indicate an impoverished status, but I daresay, the hand to mouth ritual is an enriching one in its own way. There must have been something to the idiom ‘eating out of ones’ hand’ which conveys an abject surrender and handing over of total control. And if an apocryphal statement attributed to the Shah of Iran (after a visit to India and being exposed to the joys of eating with the hand), is to be believed, he definitely seems to have the last word, “Eating with a fork and spoon is like making love through an interpreter”

 

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