Status: The Exclusive Phone Call..

 

Status: That Exclusive Phone Call...

By

Vivek Hande

The word Status derives from the Latin word status which refers to condition/ position or state. This in turn is derived from the Latin verb stare which means to stand. Status as we understand it today, refers to social rank of a person in a group. A status symbol are the visible external things that attach to a person or workplace and serve as evidence of social rank. The word first came into existence around 1670s in a legal and social context.

Status Symbols are tied to societal changes and changing social norms and practices. They constantly evolve and what might be a status symbol today, may cease to be one, years down the line. Obviously, they serve as visible indicators of societal status, prestige and wealth. They may include luxury goods, exclusive experiences, practices, designation of rank or certain behaviours.

There have been some weird status symbols over the ages. At some point of time, certain colours and artefacts could only be used by the elite. The wealthy Victorians went through an intense Egyptomania phase where everything Egypt was flaunted as a status symbol. The highlight of exclusive dinner parties used to be the ability to purchase Egyptian Mummies and unwrap millennium old corpses gradually over the course of the evening. The evening would gradually wrap you around in a creepy awe...

Dinner Entertainment..

Chinese aristocratic women in the late 1800s/early 1900s would have their feet crippled as a status symbol. Girls from rich families would undergo foot binding and a steady breaking of toes and bones of the arch of the feet to make them look delicately lotus shaped and symmetric to enhance feminine beauty. Break your feet and flaunt your wealth and status! The procedure was mercifully, legally outlawed in 1912.

Lotus Feet: Break a Leg

When Columbus returned after his voyages to the New World, he brought back Pineapples and introduced them to Europe. The Europeans lapped up the succulent delight, but they were available at premium, and they had no clue how to grow them. Pineapples were hired for display for exclusive dinner parties and were regarded as gift worth giving if you had arrived in life.

I cannot say I am very conscious of status symbols but one has worn good watches, written with some expensive pens, driven some nice cars and felt good about them. However, in the mid-90s when I was stationed at Port Blair, Andaman & Nicobar Islands, as a Physician in the Naval Hospital, I would receive a phone call once in about four to six weeks. Nothing has ever matched the feeling of exclusivity and the high it gave me. More importantly, the phone call would make my wife feel very proud of me and I rose up a few notches in her eyes, at least transiently. It was a phone call one could not brag about, and one could only talk about it in hushed whispers. You had to be on the very special list to be on it. You obviously had to be very important and special to figure on it.  The list also had different status levels. I was quite on top of the list and it was an amazing feeling which did great for my ego. It still makes me feel good after so many years.

The Port Blair of those days was very different from today. There were few cars on the roads; two petrol pumps; four civil flights a week. I was one of the two physicians on the islands- the other being in the Government Hospital. I doubled up as a Psychiatrist, Dermatologist, often as the Paediatrician and I was the best Cardiology, Gastroenterology and Nephrology could offer.

Back to the phone call. Every month or month and a half, Madhavan would call me on my phone and whisper on the phone, “30 minutes Doctor; 3 plus 3”. I would leave everything and drive my trusted Maruti like a maniac to Aberdeen Bazaar. A designated spot and I would collect an innocuous looking packet and get home. Hand over the packet to my wife and see her eyes light up. Transient elevation by a few notches in her eyes. I do know a few others were on the ‘60; 2plus2 and some on the 90; 1plus1 list’. But there were a handful on my list on the entire island. I had treated Madhavan and his family a few months ago for Malaria and a particularly recalcitrant respiratory infection and that is what got me on the top of the list. 

30; 3plus3- the ultimate status symbol

Three Kilograms of Tomatoes and Three Kilograms of Potatoes within half an hour of being offloaded from the ships which came in from Calcutta or Madras once in a month or a month and a half! It could not have got better on the islands during those days when there was no fresh produce; very infrequent flights and limited commercial ship movement! Being on the 90;3plus3 was indeed the ultimate status symbol. Nothing else has truly matched that feeling of ultimate exclusivity and being right there!! Status, they say is a way to say who you are without having to spell it out...

Rip Van Winkle And Other Sleepy Stories..

 

Rip Van Winkle and Other Sleepy Stories..

By

Vivek Hande

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have miles to go before I sleep”. Beautiful and immortal words from Robert Frost. Inspiring but hugely depressing to someone trying to go to sleep and not the ideal bedtime poetry. And then you have Benjamin Franklin who famously commented, “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise”. And the same man on another day wrote, “A life of leisure and a lifetime of laziness are two things. There will be sleeping enough in the grave”. Thomas Edison wrote, “For myself, I never found need of more than four hours sleep in the twenty-four. I never dream. It is real sleep.”

Sleep or the lack of it has forever driven people to divine poetry or deep despair. A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor’s book goes a famous Irish quote. I cannot agree more and yet it seems easier to laugh if you have had a good night’s sleep. Those were the days... one could stand sleeping; be knocked out before the head hit the pillow; it didn’t matter whether there was a pillow or not; it didn’t matter what time of the day it was and one knew one could have a large cup of coffee with your hostel roommate at midnight and be dead to the world fifteen minutes thereafter and no earthquake could wake you. Sleep patterns and habits change. Nobody really teaches you to sleep – it is one of those ingrained biorhythms. It should be the easiest and most natural thing to do and yet …

Sleep disorders have emerged as the silent epidemic. In a large study, it was reported that 61% Indians report less than six hours of uninterrupted sleep. the figures rose by 6% over just one year.  A third of young Indians report at least one sleep disorder. The incidence of insomnia has doubled over 15 years in the Indian population. An AIIMS study of 2022, showed 52% respondents having poor sleep quality.  

Always 5 Minutes more..

What constitutes normal sleep? Most adults require seven hours of sleep. Babies, children and teenagers require more sleep. Normal sleep cycle has two phases Non rapid Eye Movement (NREM) and Rapid Eye Movement (REM). The NREM phase has three segments N1, N2 and N3. If you have slept through telephone calls, doorbells, earthquakes and loud music, you are probably in the N3 segment. About an hour and a half after going to sleep you enter the REM phase where there is increased brain activity. If you remember having vivid dreams where you vanquished the world or were fighting off goons on the top of a train, you were in REM sleep. Each sleep cycle (NREM & REM) is of about 90-110 minutes and ideally one ought to go through 4-6 cycles to be able to say you slept well.

NREM & REM Sleep

The Normal Sleep Cycle

The benefits of good sleep are myriad and it affects ones’ mental, psychological and physical wellbeing. Good sleep contributes to improved memory, emotional regulation, better mood, cardiac health, stronger immune response and faster muscle recovery and tissue healing. The sleep of Lord Vishnu is regarded as the Cosmic Pause and is rich in symbolism and denotes rest, renewal and the cyclical nature of life. It is the balance between creation and dissolution. Dreams in Upanishadic texts have spiritual significance and the state refers to the bridge between the conscious and the subconscious mind. The Goddess Nidra has an important place in mythology and is associated with spiritual rejuvenation and slumber. She put Lakshman’s wife Urmila to sleep for fourteen years to make it easier for her and enable Lakshman to devote himself to his elder brother Ram. That was considerate.

The Cosmic Pause

Sleep Heals

Sleep Disorders constitute a huge spectrum and include multiple conditions such as Insomnia (inability to go to sleep or stay asleep); Hypersomnia (excessive sleepiness even after adequate sleep); Narcolepsy (waves of Inappropriate sleepiness through the day even after getting up normally); Parasomnia (abnormal movements, behaviours, emotions or dreams during sleep – sleepwalking, nightmares, Night terrors, Sleep related eating disorders). Crimes have been committed by individuals suffering from Parasomnia which have included sexual assaults(sexosmia), murders- a famous case in point is the Kenneth Parker case (Canada 1987) where he sleepwalked; sleep drove and sleep entered his in-laws’ residence and fatally stabbed his mother-in-law and critically injured his father-in-law and was subsequently acquitted on account of the fact that he was asleep!

A Good Night's Sleep

The Best Meditation

Sleep has always been central to many fairy tales and fables. Each of them might have a lesson in sleep management. Princess Aura, better known as Sleeping Beauty and associated with Sleeping Beauty Syndrome went into deep sleep on her sixteenth birthday was obviously suffering from hyspersomnia and would have benefitted by a consistent sleep routine. Goldilocks had three beds to choose from and chose the one which was most comfortable and suited to her back. Snow White also tested out all the seven beds before choosing the most appropriate. It is important to focus on the right mattress and bed linen.  Princess and the Pea – similar issues; difficulty sleeping in new surroundings and needing comfortable bedding to sleep well. In the original Grimm version of Cinderella, her room was cold and bare and had no bed- a sure recipe for insomnia. Rip Van Winkle accepted some liquor from a group of dwarves and went into slumber for twenty years and got up an old man – best to avoid alcohol; caffeinated drinks before sleeping. Closer home, Kumbhakarna was doomed to sleep six months of the year and it well nigh impossible to wake him during this period and when aroused, he was cranky and in a foul temper- obesity; heavy foods and possible obstructive sleep apnea had a role to play.

The Sleeping Giant

Sleep is no sleeping matter and has spawned a global multibillion dollar industry. Conservative figures for 2025 pegged it at 72 billion USD and is projected to increase to 114 billion USD by 2030. These include Stay-Cations and Nap- Cations , vacations tailored to get you rejuvenating sleep and navigate you through sleep hygiene lessons. The industry also focuses on Sleep gadgets and wearables such as AI driven Sleep Trackers; Eye Massagers; White Noise Devices and CPAP machines. Another huge segment is the Over-the-Counter drugs such as Magnesium and Melatonin and prescription drugs. Sleep material which includes weighted blankets, breathable pajamas and smart pillows are the way to go. Sleep deprived folks are guzzling chamomile tea and inhaling lavender oils by the gallon

A good night’s sleep is really a fundamental right and one owes it to oneself to do whatever it takes to allow your mind and body to heal with the curative powers of sleep. ‘Throw Off your worries before you throw off your clothes at night’ said Napoleon and Dalai Lama was spot on when he wrote, “Sleep is the best meditation”. Wise words from Homer, “There is a time for many words and there is also a time for sleep”

Have To Switch Off

Curse; Cuss; Swear

 

Curse ; Cuss; Swear….

By

Vivek Hande

Cuss; Curse; Swear. These words are kind of synonymous. Cuss is a more colloquial American English word. It refers to using expletives or use of profanity, such as a curse word or oath or to swear. Cursing is a more formal and versatile expression which could mean the same as cuss (use of expletives or profane language) or to put misfortune or evil on someone. Etymologically, they all have an origin in the Church. To wish misfortune or evil on someone was considered going against the faith and hence a use of profanity. It is fair to say that as long as language has existed, cursing and cussing has been an integral part of communication.

So much for the origins. A lot of studies have indicated the benefits of cursing. It has been shown to reduce stress, anxiety and depression. It is known to contribute to mental and psychological and social well-being. Interestingly, folks who curse less benefit more when they do curse! It is also been shown in studies to improve physical performance. It might bring people socially closer and feel engendered. It has , in studies, shown to reduce pain or produce hypoalgesia.

There are some friends of mine(especially of a certain community; you know them) who pepper every sentence with the most colourful expletives. In fact, they barely use non expletives to communicate. Yet the tone and tenor of the cursing and cussing can convey wrath, anger, affection, tenderness, warmth, conviction, commitment and myriad other sentiments. They truly seem the happiest folks around.There are some who seem apologetic after using a cuss word and somehow you feel like putting an arm around them to let them know it happens. It is bit of a cultural thing as well. Certain ethnicities seem to use profanities more naturally and it is almost unnatural to see a ‘non cusser’. In some languages, even the curses sound delightfully sweet.  

The English Language has refined the fine art of cursing to another level. It has shades of subtlety, sarcasm, wit, poison, humour all rolled into the lexicon. The mode of delivery can make a mild sounding profanity the worst curse. ‘Bloody’ and ‘Bollocks’ are often used to intensify the impact. Some are fairly mild and actually sound funny and amusing rather than hurtful. Muppet is a foolish or incompetent person; Plonker is someone who makes poor decisions; Turnip is a stupid or slow person; Pudding is an extremely silly person who keeps making mistakes! Tosser; Bugger; Twit; Twat; Wanker are variations used with different intensity. Neek is a new one, often used affectionately to curse someone – a combination of nerd and geek.

There is commerce built around cursing and cussing. There was a very well received Korean reality show a few years ago where the world’s first cursing tournament was held and the rudest person won 20 thousand US dollars. The clear winner was a grandmother who cursed her way past the opponents to her bank. There are multiple books which have been written on this very important subject. I personally liked “Uglier than a Monkey’s Armpit. The Best Curses; Putdowns and Invective from around the world,” by Dr Robert Vanderplank, an unputdownable bestseller. There is an International Cursing Day when one can throw caution to the wind and let the internet sizzle with creative curses. This important day is celebrated on 9 November.

There are some international curses which one must have in one’s vocabulary. It makes you sound worldly wise, well-travelled, sophisticated and erudite. Also, most of the time, the recipient won’t understand it and it adds to one’s personal joy and satisfaction. My personal favourites include Fahr Zur Holle (German – straight; simple, efficient- Go to Hell); Pendejo (Mexican Spanish – Idiot); Crotte De Bique (French had to be – stylish way to call someone Goat poop) and Kurva (Czech/ Polish – best left untranslated but conveys the worst when delivered with vengeance).

And then you have Captain Haddock, the legendary sailor created by Herge. The author circumvented the very strict censorship guidelines on profanity by some very colourful use of vocabulary to create unforgettable curses. There are Tintinologists who meet regularly to analyze these swear words even today. Abecedarians; Anacoulthons; Baltic Beetle; Cercopithecus; Dunderheaded Coconuts; Gibbering anthropoids; Lily Livered bandicoots are just some of the gems Captain Haddock has given us!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coleman Young firmly believes, “Swearing is an art form. You can express yourself much more exactly, much more succinctly with properly used curse words.” And there is another perspective – Paul Begala, well known American political consultant and commentator says “ I am actually pro- cursing. I think it is good. I think we should teach kids to curse so they don’t use drugs. It doesn’t rot your brain. It doesn’t get you pregnant. It doesn’t rot your brain. it doesn’t kill you like tobacco”.

One may have one’s views on this but I do think once in a while a well-timed cuss or curse is soup for the soul. Ostrogoth! Overstuffed water buffaloes! Pestilential pachyderm! Slithering Salamander!

 

List or Lost

 

List Or Lost

By

Vivek Hande

 

Each of us have our own mechanisms to navigate through chaos and attempt to get more out of a day. Some of us use wads of Stick It; others use digital devices to organize everything – from your daily schedule to investments to holiday planning; some use a lot of readily available AI tools to be on top of things. I am an old-fashioned List Maker. Nothing to beat the good old To-Do list on paper. Today is Sunday, start of a new week. I made a very comprehensive list for tomorrow- the only problem is I don’t know who is going to do it!

There are different kinds of Lists. There could be daily; weekly; yearly To- Do Lists. Then there are sub lists- to buy; to loan; to sell; to pack; to wish; to not wish and so on. Sometimes, list making can get very detailed and time consuming leaving no time to actually do these things. But that is a risk one has to take to be organized and meticulous and productive.

It can get obsessive at times and one spends the night conjuring the list to be penned down first thing in the morning. Sometimes one actually looks forward mentally, with a sense of anticipation to the items to be penned down on the all-important list. Of course, compulsive list making can be associated with conditions like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. List making is associated with positive psychology; enhances capacity to select and prioritize and it most certainly helps to organize and control chaos.

Honestly, at times, I add things to my List just to make it a look a little bulkier (putting things I would anyway routinely do)- the tremendous sense of satisfaction at taking a pen and scoring off an item is pure magic. The ticking off an item on the list activates the hypothalamus and triggers the release of Dopamine and makes you feel good. The intensity of the hypothalamic activation after taking a pen to score off an item on a list far exceeds any that produced by any AI tool or digital device.

List making is not a new phenomenon. It probably dates back to the Middle Ages. Leonardo Da Vinci, who had a finger in several pies made voluminous notes and scribbled To -Do lists on the margins. A lot didn’t get done and would find repetition in subsequent notes as well.

Da Vinci The List Maker

 Benjamin Franklin was a compulsive list maker and set himself a 13-week self-improvement program with traits such as Temperance and Frugality to be practiced every day and tracked his progress meticulously. He had other Lists to ensure he stuck to a strict personal routine every day. Edison, who had 1093 patents to his credit had his List classified as “Doing and To Be Done”. My lists may be more mundane but I definitely find myself in good company.

Franklin's Daily To Do List

Ben Franklin again -List To Track Daily Progress

List making and the business of making the lists has provoked several scientific studies to delve into the psychology of it. George Miller, a cognitive psychologist, proposed the Miller’s Law which suggests that an average adult brain can only deal with five – seven chunks of information at a time and the Lists help deal with cognitive overload and help navigate a chaotic world. Umberto Eco, the famous Italian medievalist and writer famously wrote, “The List is the Origin of Culture. What Does Culture Want? To Make Infinity Comprehensible”. After reading that, I have started regarding my own daily To- Do lists with a great degree of respect and pride…

Lists- The origin of culture

I have a senior colleague and a dear friend who has made the process of making his daily work day lists into a well-practiced ritual and almost an art form. He writes them down in black ink in his diary in different priority classifications and as the day progresses, he scores them off in different coloured inks. Red if the job is done; blue if is partially done and needs to come back in tomorrow’s list (tomorrow it will be written in black); green if it has to be delegated to someone.  It does look quite colourful but it helps keep things in control for him. As long as it works for you..

Woody Allen is supposed to have said, ‘I am always making lists. I don’t procrastinate. I delegate tasks to my future self. I write down things I need to get done, but probably won’t. But making lists makes me feel I have got my act together’….. Let me get back to fine tuning my list for the coming week..