To Pet Or Not Pet

 To Pet or Not to Pet

By

Vivek Hande

Dogs leave paw prints on our heart. Whoever said that Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, probably never had a dog. George Eliot remarks, “Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions; they pass no criticism.’ These are sentiments all pet and dog lovers will vociferously endorse. Bill Watterson eulogizes this relationship by asserting, ‘I wish people were more like animals. Animals don’t try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company.’

I have no doubt all this and much more is true. I have seen many of my friends and family whose life revolves around their ‘pets’. They are not pets – they are much more than family to them. I have seen the joy and the heartbreaks vicariously through them as they have lived with their pawed, furred, feathered and gilled friends.

However, to be honest, the world is divided into Pet- People and Non- Pet -People. I am not a great fan of pets and don’t feel too comfortable around them. I don’t know if getting bitten by stray dogs thrice, while growing up and getting jabbed in the abdomen repeatedly has anything to do with it or my favorite and solitary Armani jacket(slung casually on a sofa in a friend’s house) being the recipient of a stream of prized Persian Cat piss(the host actually thought I was lucky!) or being emotionally scarred in hostel at Medical College  because of some reptilian pets of Seniors has something to do with it. I can’t say I am Zoophobic(fear of Animals) or Cynophobic( fear of Dogs) or Ailurophobic(fear of Cats) or Doraphobic(fear of skin or hide of animals) but definitely a strong degree of discomfort or unease exists when I am around them. I am possibly definitely Ophidiophobic(fear of snakes). How anyone can have a pet snake sure bites/beats me.

While Dogs and Cats are the commonest pets, there is no end to imagination when it comes to having a pet in your corner. Many years ago while in hostel at the Medical College, I had a taciturn senior who had tasked us Freshers to get a Frog each day for his pet. I was pleased with my efforts, having sneaked a Frog out of the pond behind the Physiology Department (Frog Experiments) and gingerly went to deposit the offering. The intrepid senior told me to open the Shoe Box under his bed and dump the frog in it. I was “pet”rified and don’t think I have recovered from the reptilian hiss which greeted the amphibious meal. That was a mile long snake coiled into the Bata Shoe Box. I have never trusted the shoe company ever since and I am kind of wary of peeping under beds since that day. Then there was yet another senior colleague who, as the legend goes, was denied leave by his boss on some ground. The denial of leave was not taken kindly and he released his pet snake Ophelia into the Boss’s garden where the ladies of the station were having a pleasant Garden Party. The party was a disaster; the leave was granted; the form for Leave application was amended to include a column about nature of pets held by the applicant!

We recently read about an Indian Orthopedic Surgeon in Ukraine who refused to leave the war zone and return to India because he feared for the welfare of his twenty month old pet Jaguar and six month old Panther. The comfort with which he plays around with these big cats is unnerving. 

The other day I went to visit someone. They had six feet tall Labrador (it looked taller actually); very loving and friendly and all of that. The host told me he does not bite and he is very gentle. The gentle giant had me pinned to the edge of the sofa and systematically decimated my corduroys and sneakers. When you are a Non- Pet -Person, gentle giants can cause arrhythmias. That is another house off the visiting list …

I have a dear friend who had a Central African Grey Parrot who went by the moniker Pogo. It was an excellent mimic and would imitate the door bell and the telephone ringtone to perfection. My friend lost a fair degree of weight, constantly attending to the door and rushing to pick up nonexistent telephone calls. Pogo also did a very good rendition of ‘Ala Ala Matwala’ from the movie Barfi.

Pogo

Ring Tone & Singer

There was yet another colleague whose daughter decided to acquire a pair of turtles. Small little friendly creatures but they turned out be very conscious of what they would eat. If not given Kraft Cheese and a Kale based salad to be washed down with Pomegranate Juice, they would completely stop eating. And then there was this gent who presented his son a pair of white mice as pets. They were washed and combed every day and slept in a small little cage next to his pillow. The pets were very popular with the family till one of them nibbled away half an earlobe of Junior playfully. The father got an ‘earful’ and the mice were banished.

From time immemorial, pets have been kept, adored, appreciated, indulged and the pet owners have, I am sure, gained positively from the interaction. But to be fair, it is a two-way street and one ought to have a pet only if one can give as much as one gets. It is often said, if trained properly, a man can be a dog’s best friend. And it may be good to remember, a cat looks down upon a man; a dog looks up to a man and a pig will look a man right in the eye and see his equal!

There are folks who believe a part of your soul has not been awakened if you have never had a pet. While that may or may not be true, the world is still divided into Pet and Non-Pet Person