To Pet Or Not Pet

 To Pet or Not to Pet

By

Vivek Hande

Dogs leave paw prints on our heart. Whoever said that Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, probably never had a dog. George Eliot remarks, “Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions; they pass no criticism.’ These are sentiments all pet and dog lovers will vociferously endorse. Bill Watterson eulogizes this relationship by asserting, ‘I wish people were more like animals. Animals don’t try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company.’

I have no doubt all this and much more is true. I have seen many of my friends and family whose life revolves around their ‘pets’. They are not pets – they are much more than family to them. I have seen the joy and the heartbreaks vicariously through them as they have lived with their pawed, furred, feathered and gilled friends.

However, to be honest, the world is divided into Pet- People and Non- Pet -People. I am not a great fan of pets and don’t feel too comfortable around them. I don’t know if getting bitten by stray dogs thrice, while growing up and getting jabbed in the abdomen repeatedly has anything to do with it or my favorite and solitary Armani jacket(slung casually on a sofa in a friend’s house) being the recipient of a stream of prized Persian Cat piss(the host actually thought I was lucky!) or being emotionally scarred in hostel at Medical College  because of some reptilian pets of Seniors has something to do with it. I can’t say I am Zoophobic(fear of Animals) or Cynophobic( fear of Dogs) or Ailurophobic(fear of Cats) or Doraphobic(fear of skin or hide of animals) but definitely a strong degree of discomfort or unease exists when I am around them. I am possibly definitely Ophidiophobic(fear of snakes). How anyone can have a pet snake sure bites/beats me.

While Dogs and Cats are the commonest pets, there is no end to imagination when it comes to having a pet in your corner. Many years ago while in hostel at the Medical College, I had a taciturn senior who had tasked us Freshers to get a Frog each day for his pet. I was pleased with my efforts, having sneaked a Frog out of the pond behind the Physiology Department (Frog Experiments) and gingerly went to deposit the offering. The intrepid senior told me to open the Shoe Box under his bed and dump the frog in it. I was “pet”rified and don’t think I have recovered from the reptilian hiss which greeted the amphibious meal. That was a mile long snake coiled into the Bata Shoe Box. I have never trusted the shoe company ever since and I am kind of wary of peeping under beds since that day. Then there was yet another senior colleague who, as the legend goes, was denied leave by his boss on some ground. The denial of leave was not taken kindly and he released his pet snake Ophelia into the Boss’s garden where the ladies of the station were having a pleasant Garden Party. The party was a disaster; the leave was granted; the form for Leave application was amended to include a column about nature of pets held by the applicant!

We recently read about an Indian Orthopedic Surgeon in Ukraine who refused to leave the war zone and return to India because he feared for the welfare of his twenty month old pet Jaguar and six month old Panther. The comfort with which he plays around with these big cats is unnerving. 

The other day I went to visit someone. They had six feet tall Labrador (it looked taller actually); very loving and friendly and all of that. The host told me he does not bite and he is very gentle. The gentle giant had me pinned to the edge of the sofa and systematically decimated my corduroys and sneakers. When you are a Non- Pet -Person, gentle giants can cause arrhythmias. That is another house off the visiting list …

I have a dear friend who had a Central African Grey Parrot who went by the moniker Pogo. It was an excellent mimic and would imitate the door bell and the telephone ringtone to perfection. My friend lost a fair degree of weight, constantly attending to the door and rushing to pick up nonexistent telephone calls. Pogo also did a very good rendition of ‘Ala Ala Matwala’ from the movie Barfi.

Pogo

Ring Tone & Singer

There was yet another colleague whose daughter decided to acquire a pair of turtles. Small little friendly creatures but they turned out be very conscious of what they would eat. If not given Kraft Cheese and a Kale based salad to be washed down with Pomegranate Juice, they would completely stop eating. And then there was this gent who presented his son a pair of white mice as pets. They were washed and combed every day and slept in a small little cage next to his pillow. The pets were very popular with the family till one of them nibbled away half an earlobe of Junior playfully. The father got an ‘earful’ and the mice were banished.

From time immemorial, pets have been kept, adored, appreciated, indulged and the pet owners have, I am sure, gained positively from the interaction. But to be fair, it is a two-way street and one ought to have a pet only if one can give as much as one gets. It is often said, if trained properly, a man can be a dog’s best friend. And it may be good to remember, a cat looks down upon a man; a dog looks up to a man and a pig will look a man right in the eye and see his equal!

There are folks who believe a part of your soul has not been awakened if you have never had a pet. While that may or may not be true, the world is still divided into Pet and Non-Pet Person

Cross Your Fingers & Toes..

Cross Your Fingers & Toes!!! 

 By

 Vivek Hande

I  regard myself as a person of Science and I do believe I am above superstitions and quite rational in my thinking. I do think I am fairly logical and don’t really believe in irrational thoughts and beliefs. However, as I kind of introspect, I am amazed by the number of superstitions that have embedded themselves as a way of my life. They have been a part of my growing up years and they are so deep rooted now that, even though I don’t see the logic behind many, they are here to stay! Much to my chagrin, I tend to agree with John Toland, who wrote,” All men are superstitious; they only differ in degrees” 

I don’t cut nails after sunset. I don’t cut nails on Saturdays. I understand it angers ‘Shani’. I definitely don’t get a haircut on Tuesdays. Somebody told me down the line Saturday haircuts are also not a good idea because of the same ‘Shani’ issue. I am reasonably certain I would look fairly well groomed if I did have a haircut on any of these days, but I just cannot get myself to a saloon on those days. Many years ago my mother drove it in that homes are not to be swept and cleaned after sunset – you don’t want to scare ‘Lakshmi’ away. While one has stuck to the no cleaning after sunset policy, it doesn’t seem to have encouraged ‘Lakshmi’ to be a regular visitor. I tend to stop the car when I see a black cat cutting across the road. I allow some other car driver to go past and be cursed by the evil spirits and then gingerly drive. If there is no vehicle driving past, I reverse and pretend to go in a different direction and then drive ahead- I think it is adequate to confuse the evil spirits. Bird poop and especially crow droppings, I have been told are auspicious. Very often, I have tried to catch the eye of low flying birds and encouraged them to give it a go, especially when I am in dire need of some luck to bolster things. 

It is very difficult to set off on a journey even if it is an unearthly hour in the morning without a dollop of Curd (Probiotic) and Sugar (Glucose)-what has to be done has to be done… Whenever I have had an itching right palm, I am optimistic of getting some money coming my way. More often than not, the only thing that has come my way is a prescription from the Dermatologist. One remains an optimist. One has, at times, gone mad trying to look for wood to knock (especially after an aunt told me knocking on the head is not a good substitute). There is no way you can say something good or wish someone well without knocking vigorously on wood. In fact, it is a good idea to keep a block of wood in your pocket at all times- you never know. I was introduced many years ago by my wife to, “one for sorrow, two for joy” in the context of Mynah birds (Magpies in the Western context and the original poem also talks of Gold and Silver). I don’t really believe in all this joy and sorrow business being linked with these silly birds. However, if I see a solitary bird, I tend to become an avid birder looking for another one to ensure joy. Seeing just a solitary Mynah is kind of disconcerting, to be honest.

 I tend to avoid walking under a ladder, but that I think is more out of prudence rather than the fact that the triangle formed is considered to represent the Holy Trinity (Father; Son & Spirit) and is believed to be sacred. I think I automatically cross my fingers when I want to improve my chances for something or someone; though for the life of me, I have no clue how it helps the cause. The car washing man regularly fixes an arrangement of lemon and chilies on the car on certain ‘auspicious’ days. I definitely think the lemon would be more useful as wedges in a glass of Gin and Tonic and the Chilies could be better utilized in the Paneer Curry. But I do realize the man is doing his bit to keep my car safe from the evil gaze of others and is kind of a backup insurance. So, I kind of let things carry on. 

 I am good with all numbers and not much into numerology but yet somehow the number 13 is not very comfortable. Even though I have great memories of wonderful and joyous occasions on the 13th of a month..but still I subconsciously think twice before embarking on something new on the 13th. If you are not scared of Friday the 13th, you definitely ought to be scared of the folks who are- they are simply called ‘Friggatriskaidekaphobics’.

 I am a physician and I let science and evidence dictate my course of actions. I do understand that fear and ignorance are the root of meaningless superstitions. 'To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom', remarked Bertrand Russel .  Dramatic , but not far from the truth, "Superstition, the mother of those hideous twins, fear and faith, from her throne of skulls, still rules the world" quoting Robert Ingersol.

There is little place for fear and ignorance in my practice. The practice of medicine is based on logic and hard facts and established guidelines. I know all of that and I fervently believe in the science behind it. And yet if someone sneezes just before I am doing a complicated endoscopic procedure, I am a little more careful; a little more cautious; a little more circumspect